I’ve known my dad wasn’t the guy with the stamina of an ox for quite sometime. Each time I FaceTime my parents or return home to Michigan, I can see the effects of age creeping in more and more. I’m not an idiot, but I am a realist with optimism. No one wants to see this kind of thing happen to their parents. I was born when my dad was nearly 49 years old… when most men are getting ready to send their kids off to college, he was starting all over again with me. He never complained of being tired and always said having a child later in life is what kept him young. Having an older dad never had me worried until recently.

Watching a parent begin to fail is unlike no other experience I have ever known. Unfortunately both sets of my grandparents died before I was born. I never knew the joy of having them in my life… but I also never had to experience losing them either. I didn’t watch them grow old, weaken and leave this earth. The closest thing I can relate this to is my sweet Aunt Min… she died at a vine ripe age 109 years old and was active till the day she took her last breath. I only knew her to be old, so I can’t say she ever aged during the entire time she was in my life. She was 91 years old when I was born, and as a child I can recall thinking, “Why does Aunt Min have wrinkles on top of wrinkles?”.

Fast forward 20 plus years… Since Aunt Min’s death, I have lived away from my parents for over two decades, lived in 5 different countries and currently live 9000 miles away in South Africa. As I write this from my parent’s kitchen table outside of Detroit, Michigan; my emotions are garbled. I feel guilty for being a daughter who has chosen to live her life as a global nomad (though I know my parents are very proud of this); but I selfishly cannot imagine living my life any other way. I am lucky to have a brother who lives near my parents and is very involved in our their lives. He is able to check in on them and be the on the ground support system they need.

Sadly, the reality of how I am so distanced from my aging parents has served me an undesirable taste of what is to come, and it has scares me more than ever. I have uncovered the emotion I struggle with the most, “The Guilt of Distance”.

To be honest, I am not sure what has me more scared… the idea of being so far away from my parents at a critical time and not being there to see them through their last days or the idea of suddenly losing a parent. In the end, they both scare the hell out of me… death is inevitable (and will gut me), but what leads up to it is where I feel I will ultimately fail. It all sucks – the aging, the sickness, the death, the grieving and the distance… ALL of it. Realistically, this phase in life is just not pleasant and nothing you can do will prepare you for the rocky road ahead.

At this year’s FIGT conference, I attended a session on ‘The Art of a Good Goodbye’. One of the hardest types of goodbyes discussed was the ‘final goodbye’. I remember breaking down during this part of the discussion because no matter how hard I tried to suppress the idea of my parents (or anyone for that matter) living forever… I knew I was not living in the real world and that this aspect of life was not mine to control.

I often speak about my parents with a fellow expat friend who is dealing with the same issues, but on a greater scale. She’s far away, her mom lives alone and her mother-in-law is in a nursing home. She fields calls in the middle of the night and manages the medical bills, she schedules doctor appointments and transportation services, and she spends her time worrying just like me. She too feels the guilt of distance, but knows many things wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for the life her and her family are pursuing outside of the US.

I am sure there are many people living a global lifestyle who are dealing with the same sort of scenarios and feelings. And, even though being an expat has many great things to offer, it can make life a bit more difficult to swallow at times. The guilt of distance that entangles our emotions is always there, but perhaps is something our families back home don’t always realize we are working through miles away.

I’m not sure I have a theory on all of this yet. I haven’t figured out how to harness my emotions, nor do I know if they need harnessing. The other day I was in the car listening to talk radio, and the radio announcers were talking about the blooming of the Amorphophallus Titanum, otherwise known as The Corpse Flower. This rare flower can take up to 18 years to bloom, blooms for only 24-36 hours and it emits a nauseating smell like no other. This seemed to be a fitting flower to be blooming as this new chapter of my life begins… A chapter full of anxiety and anticipation with an awful aroma of emotions. It is a journey I am not looking forward to embarking on, but one that is not going to wait any longer to bloom either.

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“Have the courage to rise from the challenges of life like a phoenix from the flames or you’ll get lost in the ashes of despair, pain, and regret.” ― Nanette Mathews

Survive-Cope-Expand-Thrive

As the wife of a neurosurgeon in a region of Italy known for adventure tourism, I often hear the kinds of stories that make most people move to get ducks in order before their next trip: a bike accident during their 50^th wedding anniversary trip across Europe; a new college graduate celebrating with his parents, falls while rock climbing in the Alps; a toddler bucks off his sister’s shoulders at the Verona airport and falls to the granite floor head-first; an American teenager on holiday with her German grandparents is struck by a car at Lake Garda. They will all live through these ordeals, but life will be forever altered.

From the outside looking in, these situations seem emotionally and logistically unmanageable, and yet when I listen, I hear something unexpected.  Despite long, arduous hospitalizations, language barriers, financial strains, and lack of emotional support, these travelers and expats find allies and create temporary homes. They research. They accept kindness from strangers. They take active roles in their own healing process. They trust. They push through and persist. They grow, even bloom, in unimaginable ways.

I am fascinated by how people get through hard things; the way they go from just surviving, to figuring out ways to cope, then taking the step beyond coping where growth is born and life expands, like the wings of a phoenix.

When I listen, I am reminded that courage and resourcefulness are natural, human qualities when survival is at stake. Whether we are the patient or a loved one, we all come to the table with traits, habits, mindsets, experiences and perspectives that help us cope, for better or worse, with the ambiguity and unique challenges of traveling abroad with a health condition.

The following story merges two separate interviews, offering both partner and patient perspectives.  Healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it is a labor of love on all fronts.

Accelerated Dating

Holding three passports and bouncing regularly between continents for work, he is accustomed to traveling with a hefty international insurance policy. He must. Living vigorously with an autoimmune disease requires vigilance and preparedness.

She, too, is a multiple passport holder, having lived between cultures her entire life. As a researcher and writer, she is quite happy staying behind the scenes. Shy, she calls herself, but I know her to be lion-hearted and fiercely articulate in multiple languages. Both nurturers, scholars, and creators of sorts, they are open to new experiences. This one, however, pushes the limit.

Between work-related travel, parenting, and the ocean between them, there aren’t many opportunities to take time off together. They manage to steal a weekend away while he is in town for business.  A little over an hour from her home base, they explore a Swiss city they’ve never visited together. He follows his usual self-care regimen, but something unexpected happens. He believes he’s developing an infection and stops in a local clinic to get antibiotics.

The next day, the worsening pain and swelling in his leg forces them to the emergency room of a nearby hospital. The instant they reach medical personnel, she becomes his official translator, intercultural liaison, and patient advocate. Soft-spoken and reserved by nature, she must stretch outside her comfort zone. Everything moves quickly; the situation is unexpectedly grave. He is told they may have to amputate his leg to save his life.

No time to connect to her own horror and fear, she remains calm and steady. In these moments, their courtship takes a deeper dive; she gets to know him more intimately than is natural between two people in the beginning of love. In these moments, he must depend on her in ways never expected or planned for.

With good reason, the medical personnel believe a bacterium is quickly consuming his tissue and threatening his life: necrotizing fasciitis. There isn’t time to obtain a full medical history or research other possibilities. Surgery to remove the infected tissue and stop the spread of the bacteria is underway within three hours of their arrival. He goes under anesthesia heavy with uncertainty. And she is left there, in the waiting room, mind spinning, heart wrung out. She is not his ‘next of kin’, but she is his person, his only person within 3600 miles.

When he wakes up, his initial thought is “Holy shit! I’m still alive!” He laughs as he recounts this moment.  He still has his leg, but his situation remains critical. The surgeon explains to him that a minimum of four weeks of IV antibiotics and multiple reconstructive surgeries will be necessary before he will be able to leave the country.

He starts evaluating all the information he’s taking in.  It ends up looking something like this: five weeks in a foreign medical system, multiple surgeries, body disfigurement, grief, pain, medication, a language barrier, separation from his children, boredom, social isolation, time away from work, and an unknown financial burden. His relief quickly morphs into one single thought: “How do I get through this?”

Healing Mindset and Practices

Like many people living with a chronic health condition, he’s already experienced enough adversity to know how to help himself under usual circumstances, but traveling with an autoimmune disease makes life as an expat even more unpredictable than usual.  As soon as he receives information about his care plan and prognosis, he begins taking inventory of his personal capabilities and outer resources.

What has worked for me in the past? What are my strengths?  What do I need support with? What do I need to thrive through this?  

“I’ve almost died before,” he says. “I’ve experienced great loss.” He goes on to describe the early and tragic death of his father. By not turning away from death and the emotions surrounding it, he gains a greater understanding and acceptance of his own mortality.  He describes it, not as an absence of fear, but as a certain hardiness and grit that have carried him through difficult times in the past. This time, he experiences a profound knowing that he will survive. He tells me it is his refusal to “get down” about his situation that elevates him.

When I ask him what imagery he uses to help himself through difficulty, he describes himself as a phoenix, rising out of the ashes again and again, allowing his grief to flow and burn as his life is changed and renewed. When our bodies are assaulted by disease or injury, when we lose vitality in some way, it is a real loss and must be treated as such.

He stresses, “You must allow yourself to grieve.” Grieving is part of the process of building resilience. He allows himself to feel, cry, and express his emotions knowing this process aides his recovery. Without the emotional support of his partner he says he can’t imagine how he’d have gotten through the emotional pieces of his recovery.

Normal emotional and stresses that come with illness or injury are compounded by his being so far from loved ones and by his difficulty communicating with healthcare personnel. He misses his three children and the normal routines they share together. Creating a support system doesn’t happen organically for him in this setting.  The language barrier prevents the casual rapport-building that would normally take place between strangers brought together by a common denominator. He misses the simplicity of these types of human connections and consciously searches out other English-speakers within the hospital.

The supportive qualities and practices I hear him describe sound like focus, optimism, curiosity, sense of humor, knowledge of his own body, trust in himself, unwavering perseverance, an ability to connect with people, and a robust meditation practice.  He also stresses the great role trust plays in his recovery and interpretation of events.  The respect he receives from the medical team, the fact that his doctors value his contributions and perspective as an experienced patient empowers him and increases his confidence in the care he is receiving.  Along with the support he receives from his partner, his trust in the medical team becomes the foundation upon which he builds his other coping strategies.

From his hospital bed, he begins researching his condition, treatments and recovery process. Taking a lead role in his own recovery gives him a sense of agency and efficacy. By studying all aspects of his situation, he is able to choose which pieces of his recovery he can control and which he must surrender to the passing of time, his care-partners, and his own body.

Because it is normal for him to telecommute, few work-related contacts know of his situation. He explains how the ability to work from his hospital room is a real benefit to his recovery process because he is able to experience a level of engagement, privacy and normalcy that wouldn’t otherwise be possible.

A mischievous (and sometimes bored) patient, he uses breath control and meditation to lower his heart rate, setting off the monitor alarms and watching the nurses come running. Striking a balance between work and play is just as important in recovery as it is in everyday life!

Self-Care and Emotional Support is Vital

For her, the partner, balancing life inside the hospital with life outside becomes the greatest challenge and vulnerability. Those first few weeks, she spends hours on the road. She stays focused, solid, knowing he is depending upon her in those early days of recovery. It’s a priority for her to be physically present for the sake of continuity, observation, communication, and emotional support. She’s the only person who can see the big picture, who knows what he was like before this assault on his body.

With her effortless German, she must be the one who confronts nurses when something seems to be wrong. He is not able to describe what he is experiencing to the nurses when his blood counts are dangerously off. She pushes through her natural proclivity to avoid conflict because she must, for the sake of his wellbeing. This motivates and fuels her.

In her life outside the hospital, she too is an expat far from close family and friends. “If you are the only caregiver, that is a lot of weight on one person, especially if you have children at home,” she explains. “I would tell more people [about what I was going through] if I could do it over again.” It’s tough, when you are a naturally private person, or introverted, to suddenly share fears and vulnerabilities with people. It’s much harder to sustain your care giving energy when you don’t have a support system nearby.

She replenishes by getting plenty of sleep and practicing yoga.

After the first three weeks, he is transferred to her home city, where she can visit more easily. In terms of building trust and relationship with a new medical team, it means starting over.  But, because they both have confidence in the medical care he is receiving, the entire situation is easier to accept this time around.

Healing is Multi-Faceted and Ongoing

Finally, seven surgeries and 4 weeks of IV antibiotics later, he is released to fly back to his other home base, reunite with his kids and continue rehabilitation. He was lucky, he tells me, to have private insurance that covered a private room, healthy food, and the highest quality medical equipment and treatments. He emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s healthcare coverage when living between cultures. Make no assumptions, he says. Every system is different.

Theirs is an ordeal that comes to a bitter sweet conclusion; the treatment was excellent, but later he discovers the original diagnosis was off.  In the end, he learns that the disease he has lived with for decades caused a rare reaction to his usual medication, mimicking the symptoms of the tissue-eating disease, necrotizing fasciitis. It seems the initial surgery (and, in turn, those that followed) may not have been necessary.

He describes the occasional pangs of grief he still experiences over the loss of his leg’s full mobility and some regret about the unfortunate, yet understandable misdiagnosis. He lives with these occasional waves of discomfort, but he continues to rise.

She rises too.

Looking back on their shared ordeal, she is now confident in her ability to handle any crisis. She’s seen herself step up with the kind of assurance that is born from trial and tribulation. There is less fear in ambiguity.

To those supporting a loved one through a health crisis abroad, she says, “Be prepared for surprises, try not to make assumptions, and check your expectations.” In other words, nurture your ability to be flexible, be open to the present moment, and ask more questions in order to gain clarity and understanding.

Adaptation is Transformation

Enduring a health crisis or condition overseas means getting creative in designing a healing team, acknowledging that each person involved is having a unique and valid experience, and knowing that an ebb and flow of grief and gratitude is the natural process of healing and adapting.

The process of adaptation is that of dynamic transformation. Through the process of building resilience, we change permanently. It can be uncomfortable, sometimes painful.

 ‘How do I get through this right now? What has worked before that can be adapted to this setting? What fresh perspective can I take that will aid my healing?’ and ‘What in myself is being strengthened by this situation?’.

As a listener and observer, I’ve come to believe the phoenix lives within us all. She’s there as we explore and nurture the strongest pieces of ourselves. She’s there when we’re at our most vulnerable. She’s there when we brush off the ashes and take flight, expanding the breadth of our reaches, soaring to live again, however differently.

The post Phoenix Rising: a reflection on expat resilience and health crisis abroad appeared first on I am a Triangle.

Grief and grieving. The shock, even though we know someone will die as they age or illness comes, there is still shock when it happens. This is followed very quickly by a funeral which brings so many more elements into this shock time. Being with family or not being able to be there, travel, expense, lack of sleep and the normal things in your life all consume your first days after death. Then your daily routine returns.

Now, you ask: What are the right and wrong ways to grieve? How long does it take? What should I do? If I cry am I grieving and then is it over? What if I don’t cry what do people expect me to do?

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has written about the stages of grief in give stages. These stages are not linear and the time that is experienced in each stage varies. It is hoped that understanding these stages will help you go through them. How you experience them is personal and not a pat answer to how long your pain will remain. Some say three months later they felt better and others six months to a year before life returned to being normal. Even with that being said, there are relapses like anniversaries, and other moments in your life. The missing loved one’s birthday or yours. The memories of times spent together etc. are all triggers for re-experiencing the pain of this lost relationship.

I will briefly paraphrase her stages as grief begs for an end of pain and depression and sorrow and an understanding of what is happening.

Denial and shock comes first and looks differently to everyone. Everything seems meaningless and over whelming, nothing makes sense and feels numb. You may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock and notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating. This shock actually helps us go on and helps us process only as much as we can handle at this point. When the questions of now what start to surface and processing what has happened then the more intense feeling come. So often things are said to others during this time that are unexpected and even hurtful as we struggle through the funeral and immediate things that need to be done after death. Forgiveness is so important for yourself and others.

Anger is one of the stages and is necessary. It seems endless and there are so many other emotions associated within the anger. The more you feel your emotions instead of ignoring them the more it will begin to dissipate. Anger extends to others, to God, even to the one you lost to death and is the emotion we are most used to handling as this world as society fears anger. Kübler-Ross states that anger is a bridge to connect to others and is powerful and moving us from feeling nothing. It is the intensity of our love and what we have lost that brings this strong emotion that helps us explore all the other things we are feeling.

Bargaining, another stage before loss one promises to do anything to spare the loss by death, followed by what if’s and if only feelings. Guilt is often partnered with Bargaining feelings. After Death we try to bargain with the pain, negotiate ways to not feel pain and loss. Stages come in minutes and hours not just weeks and months – flipping in and out as we try not to feel our pain.

Depression comes after bargaining. As we move to the present, our attention to life and the feelings of emptiness are intense and deep. This stage often feels like it will last forever and is different with each person. It is not a sign of mental illness and is an appropriate response to death. What can this depression can look like? Restlessness, feeling unable to sit still, aches and pains (headaches, backache, neck pain, rib and chest pain), anxiety attacks, difficulty breathing, loss of appetite, comfort eating, sleep changes and fear of sleeping, difficulty concentrating.

We withdraw from life in a fog of sadness.

Support during this time is so important, it is not something you snap out of or just get over and having supportive friends who can listen are so important. Depression is a normal response and even as you heal it may return at what I call anniversary times.

Acceptance is not the notion of being all right or ok with what has happened but about reality. This is the stage where we learn to live with it. We never like the fact that they are gone, it is not ok, but we accept it. Life has forever changed and we readjust. I explain this livings with loss like this. The loss or death is like a wound on our arm, time lets it heal, produces a scab of new skin covering the wound so it does not hurt and bleed as much, but life can bump that wound and break the scab and it needs to heal over again. So, we re-experience parts of the stages of grief and loss again and move back to acceptance. What we have lost can never be replaced, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we go on, we change, we grow. This stage we start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We begin to live again, after we have given grief its time.

Grief and grieving: is there a right or wrong way?

It is in the process that we heal, it is personal and painful but most important to be experienced not ignored.

The process is so much easier with support, love and understanding/acceptance.

Patience and forgiveness key for the insensitivity of others and your own mistakes that come out of the intense emotions.

We need time and love and growth.

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Introducing Virtual Gatherings! I love love love our community and want to spend more time with you! While I’ve been able to meet MANY of you as our family has traveled around the world, I want to see more of your faces!    We have had our TriCONNECTs (in person gatherings that are city specific) for a few years now, and it’s time to revamp the way we gather as Triangles.

I’m setting the virtual dinner table for you and hope that you’ll join me . . . gather around and amplify our community building efforts. Relationships are fostered when we spend time together, and I’m pleased to bring these to life. While our online time is precious to so many of you, and you’ve made the commitment to show up time and time again, there is something extra meaningful about face to face, even if that means through our computer screens!

We will have (at a minimum) ONE virtual gathering per month, inside the community and hosted by zoom. You can join these gatherings via your computer, phone, etc. We have had some in the past for our host leadership and they are SO much fun! We will be able to *see* each other, and I cannot wait! They will be at random times / days so that everyone has an opportunity to join in every so often. We are literally global in our span of members, so we’ll try some mornings, some afternoons, some evenings.  We’ll experiment with some weekdays and some weekends!

You may want to come to our virtual gathering to share a struggle you’re having, or to offer support to others. Maybe you have an amazing celebration to share, or have a question you need some opinions on. Maybe you just want to TALK and visit with others!

The first one will be 22 February and you can find all of the details inside the community (which can be found here or by navigating to the community and then tap your 9 dot dashboard at the top right, and choose Events). We are limited to 100 participants (and we are nearly to 4,000 members inside the new platform), so we ask that if you RSVP to come, that you commit to showing up so that your spot can be used by someone else if your plans change.

*See* you there?  Who’s excited about this opportunity and these virtual gatherings?

The post Introducing Virtual Gatherings appeared first on I am a Triangle.

As you gaze up at this 32 feet tall Mesquite tree with green leaves, you can’t help but wonder how it had made a seemingly impossible living out of dry sand for approximately 400 years. Local legend claims “The Tree of Life” was planted in 1583. Since there is no apparent source of water or vegetation around, the mystery of its survival has made the tree a legend. Scientists speculate that the nearest possible source of water is an underground stream about two miles away. Other reports point to the fact that its widespread roots have reached a bed of underground water, ensuring its survival in this harsh climate.

It seems that if The Tree of Life would have only focused on its location, there was no way it could have survived. The only reason for its longevity is because it uses its widespread roots to search for ways to sustain itself, which gives this tree such a unique edge in the desert.

The thought made me smile.

What if those of us living a globally mobile life, could learn to do the same?

ROOTS & A SEARCH FOR BELONGING:

One of the most talked about and written about dilemmas for globally mobile families is the question of roots. How do we put down our roots in a new country or a new city? Does constantly being in a moving cycle from one country to another diminish our ability to establish deep roots and meaningful connections? And what is better to have: deep, location-focused roots or widespread but shallow roots because we are eventually forced to say goodbye?

This is the dual challenge often faced by families in global transitions whether they are military, expat, missionary or diplomatic families. Constantly changing postal codes, saying goodbye to one community before moving on to the next assignment can wreak havoc on our sense of belonging.

But what exactly does it mean though to “put down roots”? According to the Free Dictionary.com:

put down roots:

1. If you put down roots, you make a place your home, for example by making friends and taking part in activities there. 
2. If something puts down roots somewhere it becomes firmly established there so that it is likely to last and to be successful in the future. 

So, in essence, choosing to put down roots means building relationships and being part of a community. By this definition, globally mobile families are not without roots. They are simply rooted in something bigger than a place – often times their identity is connected more to relationships rather than a physical location. Making friends, contributing to local communities and engaging in their new home town are skills that globally mobile people learn to do rather quickly.

Then why this need for permanence? It’s the second part of the definition, that many global nomads (myself included) struggle with. To become “firmly established” with deep roots in one place does not happen for families on the move. Instead, we learn to re-apply our formula for “settling down” in many different cities.

A MIDDLE EASTERN PERSPECTIVE: HOW THE BEDOUINS STAYED ROOTED YET NOMADIC

Living in the Middle East for the past three years has helped to change the way I look at the challenge of “being rooted” and whether I “put down roots” while being globally mobile. My wanderings through the Arabian Desert and conversations with the Bedouins tribes in Jordan have brought forth some interesting revelations. After all, the Bedouin tribes of Arabia have always been rooted in the desert, but they still stay true to their nomadic culture. They wander far and wide in search of food and shelter for their animals and themselves. How did they develop such strong roots to the desert, while still remaining nomadic?

It’s a question I had asked one of the Bedouins who took us around Wadi Rum, Jordan’s biggest desert. The stewardship of this desert lies with the local Arab Bedouin. Jordan is home to approximately 380,000 Bedouins who settle in or near Wadi Rum.

He smiled, before explaining:

“Roots are important. But being nomadic is in our blood. Allah gave us legs, so we could wander! It’s better to spread your roots far and wide, and not limit yourself. Some of the strongest trees in the world have roots that go far and wide.”

Roots versus reach.

Why had I never thought of it this way?

Our roots help us widen our reach. In the end, our reach is what determines how successful or impactful we are. Putting down roots is not the end, but just a means to an end.

There was so much that a Bedouin could teach us global nomads. Once we start focusing on how far and widespread our roots can help us reach, we can shift our perspective. Being rooted does not mean you are stationary. It does not mean buying a house in one country and then planning an entire life there.

So, if we don’t put down roots the traditional way, how can we ensure our survival and feeling of belonging in the world?

TIPS ON HOW TO PUT DOWN ROOTS FOR GLOBALLY MOBILE FAMILIES:

1. Don’t search for permanence. Keep your focus on maintaining ties through people, projects, languages, books and foods. These are sometimes the tangible things that keep us rooted to a certain place, long after we have left it.

2. Focus on your reach, not your roots. As the Bedouins would say, focus on not how deep your roots are but how wide they stretch. Do your roots stretch over different states, many cities and internationally through many different countries? Have your roots helped you to connect with different people in the world? Do your roots mean you are interested in what is happening in corners of the world far removed from where you are watching? Focus on how wide your roots are spread, rather than how deep they go.

3. Maintain roots through experiences and memories. For many global nomads, geography does not determine their roots. Instead, memories and experiences are what root us. For instance, I know I will always feel rooted to the countries in which I gave birth to my children in. Regardless of how long I lived in them, they have seeped into my family’s story and we will always feel “at home” in them.

4. Find similar people. Finding people who share your uprooted sense of identity can be comforting and give you a sense of belonging in terms of a joint struggle of ‘not belonging’. Finding our tribe matters, because it can be another way of keeping us rooted to a fast-paced globally mobile life, where everything seems transient.

5. Get involved in your local community. Find a way to give back to the local communities you have been a part of. This could be in the form of taking an interest in local projects or volunteering your time and effort for a local cause. This will ensure you are making meaningful connections and contributions that can live on, long after you have moved somewhere else.

Carry your roots with you, wherever you go and decide where they will grow. You might just find that your roots may not be in a particular landscape or in one country. They might just reside inside of you.

As Alice Merton sings, in her song “No Roots”:

“I like standing still, boy that’s just a wishful plan
Ask me where I come from, I’ll say a different land
But I’ve got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

I’ve got no roots, but my home was never on the ground.”

How have you “put down roots” while being a domestic or internationally mobile family? Share your tips and thoughts in the comments below! 

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Those who know the feeling understand. The ache. Watching others chat over coffee, while you are mentally practicing how to order one. Lingering at the schoolyard, while other parents catch up on gossip. Scanning through social media, it seems your former life was large and full, and far less complicated.

Finding A Balance.

On the introvert-extrovert scale, I fall right in the middle. The term for that is an ambivert.  What this means is that I enjoy being social, and people even perceive me to be confident, or a leader. However, when I’ve hit my limit, this girl is D-O-N-E. I need to recharge, and it needs to be within the walls of my home.

If I’m alone too much, I get lonely and sad. If I’m with people too much, I get stressed and exhausted.  I have to work with both sides of my nature, to ensure that I don’t overwhelm myself, nor feel disconnected. These ambivert appointment strategies have worked for me.

Join Things

While hardly original advice, this is still important. When I was new to Spain, I knew I wanted to get active and improve my Spanish. These goals led to friendships, through Spanish lessons and CrossFit. Both groups met regularly with the same cast of characters. Both had challenges—we grew together, we messed up together. Both were exhilarating, and, at times exhausting. Both had the safety net of a coach or teacher. Both ended at a set hour.

Ambivert Appointments

As certain friendships developed, I tried to schedule weekly opportunities to meet up. Each Tuesday, I had un café with some of the mothers from my son’s school. Another friend and I meal prepped together Friday mornings. Every Wednesday, I helped a friend with her English. All of these activities had purpose and structure, so I wasn’t inwardly panicking about awkward, long silences. With appointments in place, I could also guarantee time for my introvert needs.

You Can Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely

One of my friends, for her fortieth birthday, took a trip to London by herself. She also is an ambivert, so she scheduled the trip accordingly. She took guided tours, which eliminated stress and danger, while providing company if she decided she wanted to chat. She met up with a friend for dinner one evening, but left a lot of time free as well. ¨I ate when I wanted to eat,¨ she said, ¨and I did what I wanted to do.¨ Does she regret celebrating a significant birthday without company?

Not. A. Bit.

I, too, cherish my time alone. Writing, reading, decorating, cooking—these activities feed my soul, and allow for meditation. I don’t feel that I’m “missing out,” for I have built my Ambivert Appointments into my day. I have just enough time to feel that I am making the most of this wonderful expat experience, while still remaining true to myself.

How do you make this balance work? Are you an ambivert as well? I welcome your stories.

The post Ambivert Appointments appeared first on I am a Triangle.

But here’s something I never thought about until I lost three of the most important people in my life and my dog in one year, all while living overseas – dead people are everywhere and ghosts know no borders.

There was an automatic movement that your hand made when it reached to dial her number, that it now only almost makes, knowing she won’t be on the other end of the call.

There are little bits of hair where you never fully washed that blanket. One big, whipping shake of the cloth and you almost hear the soft tumble of a hidden piece of dog food, long-since desiccated and ant-nibbled.

Looking for something in the garage and there, a notepad, “24^th – Last Chemo.” All block letters. The unmistakable penmanship that doesn’t know only weeks are left.

The missing space, the unfinished movements, the hidden treasures abandoned by their former lovers – are there in all their unbelievably heavy emptiness. How can nothing weigh so much?

Memories haunt me, not only in the places they’ve been, but in visions of never-to-be futures that come seeping in from the place that I am. Loss makes me keen to see moments that never came to pass. My brain fills in visits that never happened, awe-striking sites that were never seen, new and strange foods never tried – laughed at, squirmed over, delighted in.

I’m sure this happens to people when they lose someone and go on living in the place where they all shared memories. I didn’t expect it would happen in the places my lost ones had never been.

Fisherman cast their lines on piers all over the world. And so, like a ghost, my stepdad is there, pointing and sharing even with no Japanese, because something connects all men who fish. But he was never there. God, he would have found it beautiful.

Running my hands along a piece of antique kimono, my mind tells me to call my grandmother. What incredible creations could she have made with this unique fabric? But she won’t hear that story of the treasure I found. She left before the memory could be made.

The biggest adventure of my grandfather’s life was the two years he spent in Germany just after World War II. He always related every one of my international stories to that time in his life – the freedom, the newness, the strange place.  My heart aches for the connection he would have made with where I am now and where he once was and the laughter in his voice, “Aw, Sweetie, that reminds me, when I was in Germany…”

Whether intentional or accidental, we escape a lot in this lifestyle. Sometimes it’s not all that bad to be far away. It gets comfortable to not have to deal, to be able to bail or to say – “Oh, it’s just so far. Not this year.” But we also miss so much we never thought we’d have to miss – death, funerals, hospice, chemo. But whether we stay or go, they find us. Ghosts know no borders. By intention or accident, they find us.

But that works for us. We know how to deal with wandering. We know what it means to carry.

To pack it all inside, to take it out again, to look one more time. To remember whenever and wherever you need to, in the corners and crevices of past lives and right now, so that the memory can follow you everywhere – because you’re everywhere. And now the people you’ve lost are everywhere too.

It doesn’t make it all right. Your guts do indeed fall out with their passing. But pain has Band-Aids and wound care, and learning how to take your lost loves with you is yet another way to heal. What I’m saying is that I carry around a whole lot of suitcases. One of them holds her heart (and his heart and his heart and his heart) in it. When you’ve spent so much time with suitcases, you know how to get a whole lot of stuff in there.

This is an incredible blessing of the way in which we live. Neither our memories nor our grief are confined to one place.

And I can take all the memories with me. Just like the moon and the stars. Just like the Sun. My treasures. Hauled around from place to place. The same no matter where we go. For me, they’re not trapped where they passed, decomposing in the fertile Indiana soil or floating as ashes across the lake, baked by record temperatures, made soggy with April rain. I take them with me.

My travel companions. My beloved loss, my grief, my memories – my most flexible travel companions.

The post Ghosts Know No Borders appeared first on I am a Triangle.

The following is the transcript from the broadcast shared above, originally recorded live.

We are live for the very first ever Triangle Live broadcast. This is really super exciting, it’s a fun platform to try out. My name is Naomi Hattaway. I’m the founder of the ‘I Am A Triangle’ community and movement. We can be found online inside of our Facebook group, and today I am super excited to have Stephanie Ward along with us from Firefly coaching, and in the background, we apparently have my dog along for the ride as well today. Before I let Stephanie introduce herself though, I want to just give a little bit of feedback on how this broadcast works. So, it is as if we are sitting with you wherever it is that you are, you can comment away, and we will be able to see your comments and we’ll have some engagement, we’ll have questions and answers at the end, and along the way, if you have questions about what we’re talking about, feel free to ask. We can see that, we will engage with you, we want to say hi.

Stephanie:    Okay. Thanks, Naomi. I’m super excited to be here with you. We met at the FIGT conference, which was amazing, and what I do, I help small business owners increase their visibility so clients come to them. So, I’m working with them to help them figure out their marketing, something that fits for them that they’ll actually do, instead of things that they think sound nice but they’re afraid to do. So, it’s really just about profiling people, building their confidence, and getting them out there so clients can connect with them.

Naomi:     Yeah, and I really love what you said about developing out a strategy that they’ll actually do, because that’s, I think, part of the problem is you get these overreaching strategies that have way too much information.

Naomi:     Stephanie, where are you at, at the moment?

Stephanie:    I am sitting in Apeldoorn in the Netherlands, and it’s quite overcast, but spring has sprung.

Naomi:     That is good. And I’m in Columbus, Ohio in the United States, and spring has definitely sprung. The colors are amazing and beautiful. I’m very excited. Okay, let’s jump right in. So, the first thing I think that we need to talk about is the ‘what’. What are authentic relationships? What are strategic partnerships? Stephanie, that is such your level of expertise. I’ll let you just take it away.

Stephanie:    Alright. Well, thanks. I think when you talk about authentic relationships, we can all relate to that on every level, business, personal, and to me that just means something where you feel a connection, there’s honesty, and there’s trust. And trust is something that takes time to build, so you cannot have authentic relationships in five minutes, or five days. It takes time. You can have an initial feeling of connection and trust, and I always go with, ‘Trust someone until they prove you wrong,’ because it’s better to look at it that way. But it’s a matter of small things over time, building, and building, and building. That’s an authentic relationship to me.

Naomi:     Yeah. I agree with you, and I come from the same thought process, that it is so much easier on our psyche, and on ourselves and our inner being to trust first, and then let the chips fall where they may, and I also agree a hundred percent that it takes time. I think that some people you can find an instant bond with, and that trust, but then the strategic part of it comes in when you start talking about the timing, and developing out a relationship. So, what is the difference between an authentic relationship and a strategic partnership? It seems like there’s a little more intention behind a strategic partnership.

Stephanie:    Right. Well, of course, there’s some crossover. I mean you could have a strategic partnership that is an authentic relationship, hopefully, it is, but the idea with the strategic partnership is that you are consciously thinking about your business, and you’re thinking about, ‘Who could I partner with that serves the same clients that I do, but with a different product or service, and that we could support each other in that?’ So, I send them clients, they send me clients, or it could also be a one-way partnership, which we can talk more about later. But the idea is that you consciously – it’s not like you just meet someone, and you click, or you run into someone, but that you consciously sit down and actually make a list of people like, ‘Who could this be? Who could my partners?’ And then the steps of approaching them, and talking with them and then building that out on that level.

Naomi:     So, let me ask you this question, because some of the people that are going to watch this might be saying, ‘Well, I don’t have a business, so this doesn’t apply to me.’ Are there ways that we can talk around not just having a formal business? What are other opportunities or situations where we might be able to look at life and our relationships in the way of strategic partnerships?

Stephanie:    I think everything. I mean if you’re a volunteer you could look at raising money, if you are with other moms, if you’re raising children, if you’re trying to make some partnerships with some other moms about, gosh, a number of things – it could be for childcare, it could be for events or getting together – anything really it can be applied to.

Naomi:     And look at the benefits to being surrounded by internationals and global nomads, that kind of plays into what I’m passionate about, building a community, and if you look at, in a strategic way, how to build relationships that will help you with what you need, yeah, I like that.

Stephanie:    You know, and I think one of the first things to do – just when you were saying that, it just popped into my head – is that when you are trying to build a community, always give first. Always, always, always. In a relationship, in a partnership, don’t wait, give first.

Naomi:     Yeah, I so agree with that, and I think there’s a lot of people in the thought leader space talking about giving first. Gary Vaynerchuk is a jab, jab, jab, right hook guy, and actually it was interesting, someone in the ‘I am a Triangle’ group this morning posted about her recent relocation to a new location, relocation to a new location. Yeah, she mentioned that she’d gone to a pub, and when she was there she reached out to the owners and said, ‘Here I am,’ like she opened her hands and she said, ‘Here I am, this is what I know how to do, this is what I’m good at, and I’m here.’ And like a week later they contacted her, and she now has a job.

Stephanie:    Fantastic.

Naomi:     But I think it goes back to giving of yourself first, and saying, ‘This is what I have and I can give to you,’ and it turned into a job, so I think that’s great. Okay, so we’ve talked about the ‘what’, now the ‘who’. What tips do you have for how to find the best strategic partners? And we talked about, this isn’t just around business, but it’s also in relationships, friendships, being able to maximize your family’s time in a location. How do you find the people?

Stephanie:    Well, I like to look at in two ways to both support each other. So, you can do offline and online, and they complement each other really well. So, offline, you can, of course, Google anything, internations.com, meetup.com, LinkedIn, Facebook, to try to find some in-person events that you can actually attend and meet people face-to-face. And then on the online side, again, Facebook groups, you can search LinkedIn, you can use twitter hashtags, there’s so much online that you can find, so it’s just a matter of actually sitting down, being willing to spend a little time doing some research. And what you’ll find is, it’s kind of a snowball effect. Once you find one thing it will lead you to another thing, and lead you to another thing, and a lot of times the offline and online platforms, some of those platforms like meetup.com have both aspects. You can connect with people online as well as in person.

Naomi:     Right. And I think that you mentioned InterNations, which is a great way. The ‘I am a Triangle’ Triconnects are another. They’re location-based, and you can easily find people to connect with inside of your location, and then we have topic groups also, so missionaries, military, you know, to kind of get out, expand a little bit. I almost think too that sometimes it’s a matter of just brainstorming with people that know what you need, or know you well enough to just say, ‘Well, what about this?’ and making those suggestions.

Stephanie:    And sure, brainstorming with someone that just knows you, and/or someone who’s local, would be a great idea.

Naomi:     Yeah. I want to give a little shout out to Marielle. Yes. I love FIGT, and the connections, and the in person. FIGT is another fabulous way to build up a list of strategic partners.

Stephanie:    Yes. figt.org. Shout out.

Naomi:     Yeah. So, we talked a little bit about this in the very beginning, and it’s something that I want to just go back to. It’s something that I’m very passionate about. What are the wrong ways to go about building these relationships? And then after we flesh that out and talk a little, then we can talk about the right ways.

Stephanie:    Yeah. I think some people get confused, or I’m not sure what the right word is, but they get lulled into this strange place for online connections. They think, ‘Well, if we connect on Facebook or LinkedIn, then we’re best friends, and I’m going to ask them to hire me for a job or something.’ It’s like meeting someone and saying, ‘Let’s get married.’ It’s just too fast. So, you need to take your time, don’t be a stalker, follow through normal channels, you can start with Twitter, which, you know someone doesn’t have to reciprocate, so that’s a bit lighter method. But don’t do all the channels at one time, bombard someone, that might kind of freak him out. But I would say just use the same principles of what you would do in real life. You would never just walk up to someone and go, ‘Hey, let’s make a strategic partnership, here’s my business.’

Naomi:     Right.

Stephanie:    It wouldn’t happen. So, just always think about how you’d do it in real life offline, and again, that thing of giving first – how can you help someone else? Ask about them, be interested in them. ED. Don’t try to be interesting, try to be interested in other people. Listen to them. Listen to what they’re interested in, what they’re passionate about, and if you can tell them about a book, or an article, or introduce them to someone that can help them along their path, that’s the way to really start building a connection.

Naomi:     I like that. I’m going to actually see if I can add that to the screen, because I think that that is really powerful, and I don’t know about you, but I get a lot of interest in ‘I am a Triangle’ community, and I think the ones that are really meaningful, and the ones that I go, ‘That’s so amazing,’ are the ones that say, ‘Hey, do you need any help with anything?’ or the ones that come on.

Stephanie:    It is so important that – especially for Naomi, because she has this humongous community in such a short period of time, is that when you are looking to connect with someone, if you can just offer first, it makes all the difference in the world in the way the connection begins, and we can always all help each other with something. So, there’s no reason not to start with that question. Even if you are in a desperate need of help yourself, start by asking, ‘What could I do for you? Is there something I could do for you?’ Yeah, I love that.

Naomi:     Yeah. I think it is so important when you acknowledge what you have to offer. I think sometimes people say, ‘I don’t have anything to offer, so how would I possibly offer something first?’ So, I think that’s another brainstorming action, is to sit down and just go over all of the things that you do have to offer.

Stephanie:    But I love that point, that’s the flip side of it is, you know, everyone does have something to offer, so never doubt that. And it can be any range of skills, and if it’s something kind of weird and unique, the better, because probably no one else can do it and they need your help with that. So, getting in touch with your own skill list, even if it’s just three things that you can take with you in your pocket when you head out the door, it’s a great idea.

Naomi:     And I think that it doesn’t have to be crazy amazing talents, it can be something as easy as, ‘In my last location, I gathered six moms and organized a play date once a month,’ or ‘In my last location I was the trailing spouse, and so I went to the company and organized a support system for the other trailing spouses.’ I think there’s all sorts of ways that we can do that. So then, let’s talk about the ‘why’ a little bit. When this is done well, when we have these authentic relationships that we have cultivated – and I also want to go back a little bit to say, you had said ‘don’t stalk’, but I think there’s a healthy way to learn about someone. Like, follow them on Twitter and see what they’re passionate about, see what lights them up, see what books they’re reading, and I like what you said, don’t follow them on every platform because that might seem a little strange, but I do think it’s on us, the onus is on us to do the research before we go after somebody, to know if they’re open to a strategic partnership, to understand what it is that they need. Okay, so having said that, when they work, what does that look like? What kind of benefits? Say you and I, let’s use us as an example, how could we have a really thriving, healthy strategic partnership?

Stephanie:    Well, the key is that there’s something, again, that each of us needs from the other that we can deliver to each other. So, what I mentioned at the beginning, sometimes they are one way. It can be the case that people are like a chronological path, and they would come through you and then to me, or the other way around, so it wouldn’t make sense for us to both refer each other, but in real life with us, I mean we do serve similar communities, so we could promote each other’s business. I mean you’re doing it right now by inviting me to be on this platform with you on your platform. So, you could do a Go Live, you could put someone – I could put you in my newsletter, in my ezine, you could do a guest blog on my blog, offers, things like that.

Naomi:     Yeah. And I think if you look at – so, say someone is a blogger, which, I know we have a lot of writers, amazing writers – guest blogging and providing content for each other is such a win-win. On one hand, you’re not having to create that content, so what you’re doing for me, and for the Triangle community, Stephanie, is helping with content. This live event becomes content which is of value, it helps other people down the road, and it’s one less thing that I have to do. So, if we were both bloggers, and we offer to guest post on each other’s sites, it’s one less blog post that we each have to do. Plus in getting to know each other,  the relationship just keeps growing where then I will be able to introduce you to someone that I know that needs your help. It just keeps going exponentially, I think.

Stephanie:    It does, it multiplies, and there’s also the effective of just even knowing each other, because then you see, ‘Oh, they’re in the same circle,’ and it’s an instant trust builder. If someone likes and trusts you, and they see that you connect with me, they’ll think, ‘Okay, well then Stephanie must be okay, because otherwise, Naomi wouldn’t be in touch with her.’ So, it’s a compounding effect like you mentioned.

Naomi:     I do like that. I’m going to just pop up a little reminder that if anyone has questions, that we’ll be answering them either live or at the very end. We’d love to just have a little bit of engagement around what questions you guys might have about the things that we’ve talked about. In the meantime, we had talked a little bit, Stephanie, about how to ask for an introduction. So, if someone has a platform, or if someone has a business, or something that you’re interested in, what are some of the best ways, the best practices that you’ve seen for how to ask for an introduction, so that it’s authentic and meaningful?

Stephanie:    Well, the thing that you said is, when you actually get to that point, is to offer how you can help that person, but before you get there, what I always recommend is to use LinkedIn. LinkedIn is so powerful. If you’re not on LinkedIn, get on there. Go into LinkedIn, find the person you want to meet, and see if there’s someone that you know that knows them. Most of the time there is, and if not, okay, then there’s another way to do it. But that’s where I go first, or on Facebook, and see, are they friends with the same people? Could someone make that introduction for you? That way it’s a warm introduction. So, once you get that, then always make the proposition in terms of what’s in it for the other person. Not like, ‘I would love to blog post on your website,’ or ‘I would love you to read my book,’ or ‘I wish you would do this for me.’ No, turn it around and make sure you’re talking only about how I could help you. So, what you said as an example, I would say, ‘Hey, Naomi, I know you have to create a lot of content for your community. Would you like it if I made a blog post that specifically speaks to an issue that your community has? What would that be, and let’s talk about it.’

Naomi:     Right. And I think also in talking about looking for those mutual connections like you mentioned with LinkedIn, I always get a little frustrated too when there’s not a balance, when someone sends me a message, or I see someone doing it even online, where it’s, ‘This is what I need from you,’ and there’s a list of 30 things, and then at the very end it’s like, ‘And I could do one thing for you.’

Stephanie:    Or nothing, they don’t say anything.

Naomi:     Nothing, yeah. So, you know I think if there’s a little bit of balance there too, and I think sometimes we could maybe just be vulnerable and say, ‘I would love to be in your space. I’d love to get to know you more, I would love to be able to learn from you.’ Everyone always says ‘pick your brain’.

Stephanie:    Don’t say that.

Naomi:     Yeah, don’t say that. But I think there are ways that you can authentically say like, ‘I think that you have knowledge to bring me, and I’d love to know if there’s an opportunity for me to learn from you.’ Because then – like I do this all the time. Twitter is my favorite way to make connections without influencers and thought leaders. By following them on Twitter, I see their patterns, I see what they like. Then if I see something that I feel would be of value to them, I can tweet it to them, and very inconspicuously almost, they start to go, ‘Oh, that’s a person who understands me, or has brought me value.’ Then I think the ask, it can be as simple as, ‘Hey, person that I really think is awesome. Do you have any blog posts that you’ve published lately that you think fit the topic of – I don’t know – growing a community online?’ That gives them the, ‘Oh, they’re really interested,’ and then they can just send a blog post. I think there’s really simple ways.

Stephanie:    That makes total sense, and it goes back to what you said before – give value first. So, by following them and sharing articles, you are helping them, so that is giving first, always.

Naomi:     Yeah. And then one of the things that I wanted to talk about too, and this is a little bit of a sticky conversation, but I think we both can manage it, we were talking a little bit about this small pond that we’re all in, whether you look at it from a community of internationals, and global nomads, and triangles, and FIGT members, we all end up crossing the same paths, and I feel it strongly, that it’s just worth mentioning to always make sure that you are swimming in the pond nicely, that you’re looking for opportunities to collaborate, looking for ways to play nice and share a floaty. There’s enough room in it for all of us – I don’t know, what are your thoughts around that?

Stephanie:    Well, I love the floaty, share the floaty, and I love what you just said at the end, that there’s enough room. I mean, it’s a small pond, but it’s an endless small pond, meaning there’s space for all of us, for everybody, and you will come across people. And so, I would just say to definitely mind the relationship. If you ever have a strange situation with someone where it doesn’t feel right, don’t just walk away and say, ‘Well, that was weird, never mind,’ go in there, send a mail, call and say, ‘Gosh, I don’t know, I feel like there might be something between us. Did I do something or say something?’ Because you just never know. And you know we’re all struggling to do our best, and some days are better than others, and we all have different values and beliefs, and it’s hard.

Naomi:     I am so glad you said that. I think one of the things that I have learned, and really had – it’s been a learning lesson for me this past six months to a year – we all speak literally different languages, we all come from extremely unique backgrounds and situations that make our perspectives so unique, and I like that you said that, because I [inaudible 00:24:13] and attempt for engagement doesn’t necessarily mean that’s how the whole relationship will be, and if we can pull ourselves up out of the ‘That felt weird,’ and just ask, and just say, ‘Are we okay?’ I think that’s amazingly poignant.

Stephanie:    It’s hard, and it’s not easy, but it ties back to what you said before is risking being vulnerable. Brunet brown talks a lot about that, vulnerability, and that’s what it is to be human and to connect, and because we’re so different it’s going to take someone to stand up and just say, ‘Hey, can we talk about it?’ and ‘I’m willing to listen,’ and ‘Let’s just get it out there on the table.’ Because once it’s out, it’s so much easier to resolve. I just want to point out one key thing about that, everyone can take away now who’s listening about Twitter or any other platform, is what you said is, listen, which just means pay attention. Pay attention to the people that you’re interested in, read what they write, listen to their videos, listen to their podcast. It can be literally that simple, so that’s the starting point, just listen.

Naomi:     Yeah. I am so with you on that, and it goes back to what you said, which I’ve just put up on the screen, ‘Be interested, with an ED, and not interesting only, with an ING.’ So, it looks like everyone is saying that they definitely want some more info and intel on social media, so we will come back and we’ll do that definitely as a topic. We’re going to wrap up for now. The point of these Triangle Lives is to try and be in the 20-minute mark, we went a little bit over tonight – tonight, it’s still morning for me. I’m going to just go drink a coffee.

Stephanie:    More coffee.

Naomi:     More coffee. Oh, we have people here that haven’t been talking. We have Sundae Schneider Bean, who says, ‘Don’t forget the social in social media.’ That is such a great point. Stephanie, we could talk forever, couldn’t we?

Stephanie:    We could. We could.

Naomi:     Where can we find you, Stephanie? What is it that you do? What do you offer the world?

Stephanie:    You can find me at fireflycoaching.com, and if you go there, on every single page you can get a copy of my free special report, which is called ‘Seven Steps to Attract More Clients in Less Time‘. I’m @fireflycoaching on Twitter, I’m Firefly Coaching on Facebook, and I’m FireflyCoaching on Instagram.

Naomi:     I am so glad that we had this chat.

Stephanie:    Me too. It was so fun.

Naomi:     I am so glad. And it went well, I think. We didn’t mess it up.

Stephanie:    I think it went well. It was both our first time on the BeLive platform, so try that, it’s fun.

Naomi:     I know. It’s really great. I love BeLive. BeLive TV is really doing some amazing things. I wanted to, before we jump off, I just want to give you a little bit of a run down, everybody who’s watching. I have pages and pages of all of my notes for future Triangle Lives. We’re going to talk about how to practice gratitude, we’re going to have one on our differences with an amazing researcher, we’re going to talk about volunteerism, how to build a portable career, all sorts of amazing things. Mindful living, divorce and separation, we’re going to talk about some big stuff, death, money all the important stuff in 20 minutes or less, right here on BeLive. I want to thank everyone for being here, you guys know how much community means to me, and how much connection means to me, and your time here is important to us, and we are so glad you joined us. For those of you who are watching the replay, we are glad that you’re here as well, and for today, we bid you adieu. Happy authentic relationship building, and strategic partnershipping.

Stephanie:    Thank you, Naomi.

Naomi:     Yeah. Thank you, Stephanie. Bye everyone.

Stephanie:    Bye.

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