To continue this discussion, some definitions are important. We used to think that gender was based solely on the two categories- boy or girl- based on exterior genitals. Ultrasounds would give clear clues, and then gender was thought to be done the minute the doctor announced it officially in delivery rooms. Sex assigned at birth is the phrase we use now to refer to those boy or girl categories assigned based on genitals.

We now understand that gender is much more complicated than two finite categories. Different from sex assigned at birth, our gender identity is our internal head-and-heart felt sense of gender. Others cannot determine this at a glance. For some, their gender identity can change over a their life time, and for others, their gender identity remains stable throughout their lifespan. For some people (called cisgender) their gender identity is in alignment with their sex assigned at birth. For others, (called non-binary or transgender) their internal felt sense of gender is not in alignment with the sex they were assigned at birth.

Another important concept in understanding gender, is the idea that our gender expression (how we show our internal felt sense of gender to the world) is different from our gender identity. Gender expression refers to things like how we dress, or wear our hair, or the interests we choose. Some exploration with gender expression is common during childhood. Many of us have stories of sons asking for their toenails painted, or daughters playing with Tonka trucks. This type of exploration is exactly why there are dress up clothes in preschool classrooms. Our gender expression can change from day to day, but gender identity is more stable.

Finally our sexually orientation refers to whom we find romantically and sexually attractive. It has nothing to do with how male or female or both or neither we feel, and it is entirely separate from our gender identity.

By the time children are in preschool, other children and adults notice if the clothes and toys they choose are unexpected based on their sex assigned at birth. It is often expansive gender expression that comes to adult attention first. And in many cases, those around gender expansive children let them know quickly that what they are doing is breaking societal and/or family norms. This type of negative peer and adult feedback often happens swiftly, and starts as early as preschool.

It is important to note that not all children who demonstrate gender expansive behaviors ultimate identify as non-binary or transgender. Sometimes gender expansive children grow up to be cisgender and heterosexual. Others ultimately identify as cisgender and gay or lesbian. And others identify as non-binary or transgender. From a parenting point of view, it is critical to have accurate information, and an ability to deal with ambiguity and follow your child’s lead.

Parents of gender expansive children often find themselves in situations where they need to decide whether, and how, to support their gender expansive children. Increasing data shows clearly that the more support gender expansive children have, the happier and better adjusted they are. And in fact for gender expansive, non-binary and transgender children and teens, a lack of parent support is connected with higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide attempts and substance use. Yet, many parents have understandable confusion about gender identity development, and understandable fears about negative things their children will experience if they “allow” their children to behave in gender expansive ways.

Gender expansive kids and their parents in global nomad communities face distinct challenges. Rotating populations in expatriate communities means that gender expansive behavior is “discovered” repeatedly by changing peers, teachers and neighbors. Some host country laws mean that establishing support groups and gay/straight alliances on school campuses can be tricky. In some global nomad communities, parents are particularly hesitant to have their children identified as having “specialized needs” of any kinds as there can be career implications for parents and families living far from “home” in their passport countries. For all of these reasons, global nomad parents raising gender expansive kids need particularly informed and sensitive kinds of support to be able to benefit from many of the strengths of the thoughtful, culturally savvy global nomad community.

It is really common for all parents of gender expansive children to feel confused, isolated, and worried about the implications of decision-making along their child’s gender journey. Even the most affirming parents often need support navigating this journey. It can be an especially important time to find knowledgeable and understanding guidance and community. There are beautiful parts of walking a gender journey with a child- and parents often need support handling the hard parts to be able to fully embrace gifts that along the way on a distinct, gender expansive journey.

If you or anyone you know could benefit from thoughtful professional support, please explore drlsanderson.com or visit Common Chord Real Conversations Courses. The courses cover topics such as:

• Key Elements in a gender affirming home
• Scripts for supporting parents
• Foundations in gender: how do I understand this?
• Scripts for talking with and listening to our kids about gender
• Gender Journey: Scripts to use with loved ones

The post Gender Expansive Journeys with Dr. Laura Anderson appeared first on I am a Triangle.

Predstavte si Krajinu Kruhov. Všetci občania majú tvar kruhu. Krajina Kruhov má svoju typickú kultúru, sviatky, zvyky, jedlo, unikátny jazyk, ale aj hudbu, vzdelávací systém a politické kategórie.

Existuje aj Štát Štvorcov. Tam žijú ľudia v tvare štvorcov. Aj oni majú svoju kultúru, sviatky, zvyky, jedlo (a tak ďalej), rovnako ako Krajina Kruhov, ibaže úplne iné.

Jedného dňa občan Kruh nasadol do lietadla a odletel do Štátu Štvorcov. Dosadol na všetky štyri uprostred Štvorcov a ich štvorcovej kultúry.

Kruh teraz žije uprostred Štvorcov. Do istej miery sa prispôsobuje, ale nikdy z neho nebude skutočný Štvorec. Začína však strácať niečo zo svojej kruhovej kultúry.

Bežné kruhové zvyky sa pomaly miešajú so štvorcovou kultúrou. Kruh si menej pripomína hlavné sviatky Krajiny Kruhov a častejšie oslavuje štvorcové sviatky.

Namiesto obľúbených jedál, ktoré mu pripomínajú Krajinu Kruhov, čoraz častejšie jedáva jedlo spoločnosti Štvorcov. Nové kultúrne normy Štvorcov niekedy prevládnu nad zvykmi Kruhov, no kultúru Kruhov nikdy úplne nestratí.

Kruh sa pomaly – ani si to pritom neuvedomuje – mení na niekoho celkom iného. Stáva sa z neho podnájomník Trojuholník. Byť Trojuholníkom znamená, že máte niečo zo svojej pôvodnej kultúry Kruhov pomiešané s novoprijatými zvykmi Štvorcov.

Už nie ste 100% Kruh, ale nikdy nebudete ani 100% Štvorec. Ocitli ste sa niekde uprostred – ba cítite sa, akoby vás tam zabudli.

Predstavte si, že po istom čase tento Trojuholník zas naskočí do lietadla a vráti sa do Krajiny Kruhov. Trojuholník sa nepremení naspäť na Kruh, iba pretože sa vrátil do krajiny, odkiaľ pochádza. Ostane Trojuholníkom.
Už som navždy Trojuholníkom.

The post PRÍBEH O TROJUHOLNÍKU appeared first on I am a Triangle.

The great news is – mindfulness doesn’t have to be woo-woo, stuffy or overly time-consuming. I promise! Cultivating an accessible, adaptable and expat-friendly mindfulness practice is completely within your grasp. You have all of the skills you need already.

Why mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of cultivating awareness of what’s happening as it’s happening. A regular mindfulness practice is beneficial for physical, mental and emotional health.

But wait – there’s more! Mindfulness also has benefits that are perfect for a globally mobile life because the practice of mindfulness helps us learn to come home inside ourselves.

Expat life is full of ups and downs, unpredictability and insecurity. Even when we’re at our best, we can feel as though the ground is shifting out from under us. Mindfulness helps expats weather transition and engage better in new and unusual situations by teaching us how to be fully right here, right now, no matter where our feet are planted.

Mindfulness helps us ask the question – What’s this right here? Which is awesome because right here is the only place that you actually are!

These 13 everyday mindfulness practices are the perfect place to start your 2019.

Practice stillness every day.

Find a comfortable place to sit and set a timer for 5 minutes, notice your breath as it goes in and out of your body. Your thoughts will wander, opinions and judgments and distractions will pop up. Simply notice them (like clouds passing through the sky) and return to noticing your breath. If you find it difficult to do this exercise while seated, try a formal mindfulness practice that involves movement – like yoga or mindful walking. Check out this article for an in-depth explanation as well as some ideas and even some practice meditations.

Give a name to your stories.

Do you find your mental wheels spin over and over again rehashing the same stories? Being mindful enables us to see these stories more clearly so that we can either take action or allow them to pass. When you notice your thoughts are stuck with the same argument, analysis, judgment or story – trying pausing for a few seconds, give the story a name (something like “I hate this place story,” or “It will be better when…story”) and then consciously choose what you’d like to do next.

Spend time in your body.

Notice what’s happening in your body. Do regular check-ins with your body throughout the day in both resting and active positions. This is especially helpful when you’re in a new place or outside your comfort zone. Your body has an incredible wealth of information to offer you about what feels right and what may need adjustment. If you have time, a body scan meditation can be a good way to learn how to pay better attention to your body.

Tune in to your surroundings.

Even as we move from place to place, discovering new homes in every corner of the globe, there is a point at which it all begins to feel familiar. We grow, however, when we’re able to see clearly how things around us change and evolve. When we become more mindful of the world around us, we’re able to develop a sense of gratitude and awareness for how and where we fit in. You can practice this by simply setting the intention to notice the world around you when you’re out. Even a few minutes can bring a sense of presence and focus to an ordinary day running errands.

Acknowledge uncertainty.

Practice asking the question – What do I not know here? Expat life comes with a high degree of uncertainty. Observing how you feel, what you think and what you instinctively do in times of ambiguity enables you to gain comfort with being between places and helps you recognize what skills most help you to thrive even when things are up in the air.

Name your emotions.

Mindfulness enables us to tend to the wounds (and gifts) of the heart. If your child scrapes her knee, you teach her to clean the wound, bandage it and nurture it to wellness. The same is true for our emotions – and man are there a lot in this lifestyle! When we practice naming our emotions and tending to them, we gain the skills necessary to nurture, comfort, and celebrate the many ways we feel.

Set your intentions.

Mindfulness is about moving from mindless to mindful, but it’s not simply about an internal journey. When we want to live more mindfully in the world, we can bring that way of being into our lives by consciously setting our intentions on a regular basis. Set aside time in your schedule and mark a place on your calendar where you can create goals and priorities that align with your values. Then check in regularly to re-evaluate and re-align as needed.

Bring mindfulness to simple daily tasks.

Practice paying attention while you brush your teeth, dry your hair, wash your hands, or chew your food. Even just for one minute, you can observe the sensations of these every day tasks. You don’t even have to alter your routine. That means even when you’re on the go, between homes or just-off-the-plane, you can still maintain your practice.

Pause to consider your words.

Being authentic and honest doesn’t mean being careless with our words. Taking a mindful approach to the way we speak enables us to consider the nuance of what we want to say – especially in socially difficult or culturally complex situations. If you’re about to say something important, notice what happens if you simply count to 5 before speaking.

Take a moment on social media.

Practice #9 applies to your fingertips as well as your mouth. Try typing out your response and then counting to 10 before you hit “post.” Are your words aligned with your values? How do you feel about your contribution to the conversation? What happens when you take a moment to notice the emotions and physical sensations behind what you’re about to type?

Engage with compassion.

Practice putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. When we cultivate a mindful, compassionate perspective, we see others and ourselves in our true complexity. We raise our awareness of the inherent vulnerability we all face each day – no matter where we come from. When you find your automatic response is to criticize, judge or disregard (again – yourself and others!) pause for a moment to turn towards what’s happening and offer empathy, compassion (or self-compassion) and comfort.

Be curious.

Curiosity may very well be what got you into this expat life in the first place! Globally mobile people are so good at this. Keep it up! Mindfulness is about asking again and again, “What’s here now?” You can engage your curiosity more formally by creating reminders to stop periodically throughout the day and simply check in with what you’re thinking and feeling and with how you’re engaging with others and the world around you.

Practice saying, “This belongs.”

I absolutely love this line offered in a lesson from mindfulness teacher Tara Brach. Mindfulness is not about feeling happy all the time. It’s not about living a life free from pain, discomfort or uncertainty. We can, however, choose to see clearly what’s there. It is from that place – where we acknowledge that something “is” and must therefore, to some extent, “belong” – that we can begin to heal, to move through and to grow. This is essential to a life lived around the world.

A few reminders before you start…

As you read through these practices, remember that mindfulness is a practice that you build little by little, becoming more comfortable with each passing day as you try new things. Not unlike training for a sporting event, it’s important to start simple and grow your practice as you become more adept. Just as beginning marathon training with 20 kilometers if you’ve never even run two would be fool-hearty, starting a mindfulness practice with an hour of silent, seated mindfulness meditation is unlikely to be as effective as starting wherever you’re most comfortable and growing your practice from there.

Another important key is to remember the word practice. Mindfulness is not about arriving at a destination of “most mindful.” It is about coming back each day again and again until you find what’s right for you. I am 100% certain you can wake up January 1 to see clearly what lies ahead.

What practice will you start with? How will you grow towards a more mindful 2019? Share your mindfulness goals for the year ahead in the comments.

The post How to Wake Up in 2019: 13 Mindfulness Practices for Expats in the New Year appeared first on I am a Triangle.

New Holiday Traditions

About a month into my arrival in the US, I heard about Santa Claus. When we began getting fliers from toy stores in the mail, my six-year-old cousin (who had been in the U.S. since she was one or two years old, so she was well-versed and immersed in all things Santa) introduced the topic to me. I listened with skepticism and confusion as she described in her broken Taiwanese an old man who flies through the sky giving toys to kids around the world.

It sounded crazy and random to the nine-year-old me. I had so many questions: If this old man actually existed, why hadn’t I heard of him before? Why had I never received any toys from him before? Where did he come from and how did he fly? How did he fly around the world giving toys to every child in one night? And how did that work with different time zones around the world?! After asking countless questions without getting one single satisfactory answer, I told my six-year-old cousin that was the stupidest idea I had ever heard and that it was all made up. And that was how my little cousin found out Santa is not real.

There was snow that winter. It was the first time I had ever seen snow. I remember watching in wonder as the fluffy white flakes fell from the sky. My mom kept me home from school because it was strange and cold and difficult to walk on. Then I seem to remember watching a holiday parade march through the streets in front of our apartment building, with Santa waving his white-gloved hand at the children. There were characters from Sesame Street–I remember Big Bird in particular–and I didn’t know what to make of them.

Sometime that December, there was a small fire in the building next to ours in the middle of the night, and we were evacuated along with others in the building. As we stood shivering in the night, a kind, elderly couple who lived across the street invited us into their home to stay warm. That was the first time I saw a Christmas tree, all lit up with presents sitting under it. It was magical. I knew no English then, and couldn’t express my sense of wonder and delight to the kind people. But I will never forget the first time I experienced the beauty and wonder of the holiday season.

I remember a visit to the Rockefeller Center, seeing the big beautiful tree there, and watching people ice skate. The wonder and magic of the holiday season was infectious and uplifting even to someone who had no clue as to the its traditions. Since then, I’ve always enjoyed the spirit of the holiday season, but not so much the consumer-driven and commercialized aspect of it.

What the Heck Is a Rudolph?

The following year, my class had a holiday party. By then, I knew a little more about Christmas, but I still had some ways to go because my own family did not observe any of the Christmas traditions. During the party, I tasted my first eggnog and instantly fell in love with the sweet and creamy drink. My classmates introduced me to fun holiday songs about Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I enjoyed the songs, but also wondered whether these characters from the songs were real. For example, my classmates added their own spin to the song about Rudolph, adding that a reindeer game the reindeer played was Monopoly. I was confused. I thought Monopoly was a human game; how did the reindeer play it? And if they played games like Monopoly, did that mean these reindeer were real and they could talk?! If so, where did they live? And how did Rudolph wind up with a red nose that glowed like a light bulb, according to my friends?

I remember how disorienting it was to be bombarded with these new traditions that seemed so outlandish at the time, but now these memories give me a good chuckle. My son also never tires of laughing at my blunders as a child immigrant. What are some memories you have of experiencing another culture’s traditions for the first time?

The post Adventures from Holidays Past appeared first on I am a Triangle.

1. my Mark!!

2. my parents and in-laws

3. my younger brother

4. my Grandma & Nana

5. my Framily (friends I consider family)

6. International foods

7. my education (Greenhill School, W.T.White High School, Texas A&M University, Landmark Education)

8. my BFFSTG

9. my Emily

10.my Tara

11.my Julies

12.my health

13.coffee

14.knowing Michele, Kathie, Lori & Grandon

15.nail polish

16.living in five US states and two foreign countries

17.floating on the Dead Sea

18.sushi

19.bee keeping class

20.sunshine

21.beaches

22.scuba diving

23.my sense of adventure and travel

24.National American Teen pageant (Finalist)

25.National Aerobics Championship (Bronze winner, Regional)

26.dancing at half-time on the field of professional indoor soccer game

27.power hang gliding

28.kite surfing

29.surfing

30.stand up paddle boarding

31.repelling (didn’t love it)

32.seeing an opera in Oman

33.hiking in the Arabian desert

34.hiking in Jordan

35.hiking in Alaska

36.white water rapids in Alaska

37.cruises

38.Gluten Free food

39.traveling in a private plane

40.going on the Good Year blimp, twice

41.driving in armored car with a police escort

42.swam with a dolphin named Spot for over an hour

43.meeting two Ambassadors and one Deputy Ambassador of USA

44.meeting Ambassador of Japan

45.meeting Ambassador of Italy

46.meeting Ambassador of Egypt

47.social media, to be connected and reconnected with friends

48.writing my blog consistently since 2011

49.writing for an international web site

50.being a “yes” to new things

51.my language skills

52.knowing Zuzu

53.getting invited

54.irises

55.my mobile phone

56.celebrating another year on Earth

57.sunny days

As we travel through the journey called ‘life’, we explore people, places, foods and experiences that make up our existence. In the end, we must consider our lives full and rich and our legacies long-lasting.

These are the fifty-seven things I am most grateful for. What is on your list?

The post Gratitude appeared first on I am a Triangle.

Only in America, can you actually buy a gallon of milk at the same time as car supplies, bicycles, toys, paint, furniture toilets and bathing suits. Sometimes it is a blessing, other times you curse under your breath at how long it takes to find one small thing in those endless, fully stocked aisles. With milk in one hand and a staycation cotton piece in the other, I smiled at the cashier as she rung it up.

We are a year and a half in to repatriation and still, I occasionally experience reverse culture shock. Having said that, I also realize that having pre-teenagers is a culture shock all on its own. Despite where you are living, there new words and abbreviations (and behaviors) to decipher. My daughter is twelve, so I thought I was becoming quite the expert in tween-hood.

But there were language lessons in store for me that day. What I thought was a cool staycation shirt read “slaycation” which I noticed immediately after pulling it out of the bag. Weird. Was it a typo of some sort? Did the top of the T get peeled off? I turned to my younger sisters in our group chat, which we created on my landing back home still entitled “sisters home together” and proceeded to write the five-hundredth question/comment of the day with a photo, asking what this could possibly mean.

Meanwhile, my daughter insisted it meant a fun vacation, you slayed it, or killed it and thanked me for the gift. Apparently, her homeroom teacher says that she slayed the test when she gets an A, and her piano teacher says she slayed that song when she learns it. So what could be so wrong with a slaycation? A vacation you totally nailed. Right?

Only in America can you buy a gallon of milk and a beach cover up that says slaycation in one go. But what does slaycation actually mean?

“Don’t let her wear that shirt! Like. EVER!” pinged my phone from my sister’s chat.

According to the Urban Dictionary, (which I actually forgot that it existed, as google translate took precedence for years) a slaycation is: “A vacation for the sole purpose of having sex. This sex can be planned with someone in advance or just with a random person you meet, but the main reason you are taking this vacation is for sex. This is different from a laycation, which is a sex getaway for two (or more if you’re into that). A slaycation is strictly solo. You don’t bring a partner.”

WHAT??? I almost dressed my twelve-year-old in that word. There are other definitions listed on the same page of the Urban Dictionary under the first: “The trip that one takes to relax and unwind after committing a murder, serious manslaughter, or slaying. usually over 50 miles from scene of crime. Example 1: When Tony Soprano asphyxiated Christopher Multisanti in season 6 of ‘The Sopranos,’ he took a slaycation to Vegas after the funeral as the Feds investigated the death and the family.”

At this point, I did not know whether to laugh or cry, as she clutched the shirt from me which I had already given her. “Let me see it for a minute, honey,” I asked, reaching out one hand, scrolling through the horrific definitions with the other. There was one more definition listed, not as bad as the others which read:

 “A girls or womans vacation where they must do all the planning, shopping, cooking, dishes, washing and care for the kids.

My Slaycation last year was miserable. I think I got 10 minutes on the beach.”

At least that was something I could relate to. Because that is my life, ALL of the time. Because I am not only a mom, but an expat mom. Well, currently a repatriate mom. Who packed up the family three times to move bringing food, planning, washing and taking the whole house with me. On top of the moving, we traveled extensively (which was an amazing opportunity) but I am not going to lie, it did often feel like thankless, insurmountable work. Slaycation. That slang sort of works for my expat-repat life description. I am also prepping for a cross-country drive at the moment and my planning, shopping and prep work is getting to me. I want family vacations, but they sort of slay, or kill me.

After further research, I did find that slaycation is used to describe a relaxing vacation. In a few other places, I saw the use of slaycation in the context of slaying the world, sort of conquering it travel-wise. Perhaps these were the more common intentions, although you can’t truly trust a slang word that has no official meaning. You also cannot put a shirt on your kid when the first few definitions that come up in your searched are bad. Really, bad.  In more in-depth searches, I also came across angry moms posting comments to various stores, asking why they are selling clothing with this word on it in the teen section, asking if they had even read the definitions before selling.

Perhaps learning to speak another language wasn’t so hard after all, I reflect, completely lost and exasperated in my native land. I mean, it was only a little cover-up… or was it? I never laughed so hard about a nine-dollar purchase. Some days, I would rather be back in German lessons instead of navigating the American-urban-landscape. Other days I wish I could re-wind to my pre-teen to the little girl we took to Germany four years ago. But most days, I take it all in and hope that at least in some small ways, I am slaying life, or at least slaying the humor part of it all.

The post Slaying It appeared first on I am a Triangle.

I’ve known my dad wasn’t the guy with the stamina of an ox for quite sometime. Each time I FaceTime my parents or return home to Michigan, I can see the effects of age creeping in more and more. I’m not an idiot, but I am a realist with optimism. No one wants to see this kind of thing happen to their parents. I was born when my dad was nearly 49 years old… when most men are getting ready to send their kids off to college, he was starting all over again with me. He never complained of being tired and always said having a child later in life is what kept him young. Having an older dad never had me worried until recently.

Watching a parent begin to fail is unlike no other experience I have ever known. Unfortunately both sets of my grandparents died before I was born. I never knew the joy of having them in my life… but I also never had to experience losing them either. I didn’t watch them grow old, weaken and leave this earth. The closest thing I can relate this to is my sweet Aunt Min… she died at a vine ripe age 109 years old and was active till the day she took her last breath. I only knew her to be old, so I can’t say she ever aged during the entire time she was in my life. She was 91 years old when I was born, and as a child I can recall thinking, “Why does Aunt Min have wrinkles on top of wrinkles?”.

Fast forward 20 plus years… Since Aunt Min’s death, I have lived away from my parents for over two decades, lived in 5 different countries and currently live 9000 miles away in South Africa. As I write this from my parent’s kitchen table outside of Detroit, Michigan; my emotions are garbled. I feel guilty for being a daughter who has chosen to live her life as a global nomad (though I know my parents are very proud of this); but I selfishly cannot imagine living my life any other way. I am lucky to have a brother who lives near my parents and is very involved in our their lives. He is able to check in on them and be the on the ground support system they need.

Sadly, the reality of how I am so distanced from my aging parents has served me an undesirable taste of what is to come, and it has scares me more than ever. I have uncovered the emotion I struggle with the most, “The Guilt of Distance”.

To be honest, I am not sure what has me more scared… the idea of being so far away from my parents at a critical time and not being there to see them through their last days or the idea of suddenly losing a parent. In the end, they both scare the hell out of me… death is inevitable (and will gut me), but what leads up to it is where I feel I will ultimately fail. It all sucks – the aging, the sickness, the death, the grieving and the distance… ALL of it. Realistically, this phase in life is just not pleasant and nothing you can do will prepare you for the rocky road ahead.

At this year’s FIGT conference, I attended a session on ‘The Art of a Good Goodbye’. One of the hardest types of goodbyes discussed was the ‘final goodbye’. I remember breaking down during this part of the discussion because no matter how hard I tried to suppress the idea of my parents (or anyone for that matter) living forever… I knew I was not living in the real world and that this aspect of life was not mine to control.

I often speak about my parents with a fellow expat friend who is dealing with the same issues, but on a greater scale. She’s far away, her mom lives alone and her mother-in-law is in a nursing home. She fields calls in the middle of the night and manages the medical bills, she schedules doctor appointments and transportation services, and she spends her time worrying just like me. She too feels the guilt of distance, but knows many things wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for the life her and her family are pursuing outside of the US.

I am sure there are many people living a global lifestyle who are dealing with the same sort of scenarios and feelings. And, even though being an expat has many great things to offer, it can make life a bit more difficult to swallow at times. The guilt of distance that entangles our emotions is always there, but perhaps is something our families back home don’t always realize we are working through miles away.

I’m not sure I have a theory on all of this yet. I haven’t figured out how to harness my emotions, nor do I know if they need harnessing. The other day I was in the car listening to talk radio, and the radio announcers were talking about the blooming of the Amorphophallus Titanum, otherwise known as The Corpse Flower. This rare flower can take up to 18 years to bloom, blooms for only 24-36 hours and it emits a nauseating smell like no other. This seemed to be a fitting flower to be blooming as this new chapter of my life begins… A chapter full of anxiety and anticipation with an awful aroma of emotions. It is a journey I am not looking forward to embarking on, but one that is not going to wait any longer to bloom either.

The post The guilt of distance appeared first on I am a Triangle.

I had heard about the city and university months before I finally got a chance to visit. Several colleges merged together eight years ago forming what is now the university. It is a public university and proudly boasts two campuses and various different colleges, among them the English language center and the College of Nursing.

My husband and I had been invited to go and meet with leadership in the university to find ways that we could come alongside them as they grow and expand.  I quickly fell in love with an area and a group of people who are making a difference in their corner of the world, despite incredible challenges. Media portrayals of Iraq paint a dangerous picture of a war torn area. In fact, the Kurdish region is a beautiful area that has worked hard to rebuild infrastructure and the health care system in the face of these obstacles.

As a nurse, I was honored to sit with faculty of nursing and learn more about their plans and dreams. Despite limited equipment and financial setbacks, they have a passion to build the field of nursing and strengthen the entire health care system.  In this process they long for people to come alongside them. The resilience and hope among faculty is remarkable.

Strong nursing programs are foundational for both public health and primary care. Building this program is critical for the health care system, both now and in the future.

This campaign is designed to raise money for three separate projects.

Building Student Capacity:Three students (two female and one male) from the nursing program have had a paper selected to be presented in Johannesburg, South Africa on gender equality in the region. This is an incredible honor, but they need funds to go. The first $5000 dollars of this campaign will provide airfare, hotel accommodations, and money for meals for the students to attend the conference.

Timeframe: If these funds are not raised, the students will not be able to go.

Equipment for Simulation Lab:Any nursing program relies heavily on up to date equipment and simulation models. Equipment is expensive and needs regular upkeep. The second $5000 will be used to create simulation labs with state of the art simulation models.

Timeframe: 3 Months. Classes begin in mid-September.

Continuing Education for Faculty:The Faculty of Nursing at University of Raparin are passionate and dynamic. They function like a supportive family. But they need help! They want to improve their skills, they want to attend continuing education in other places to learn best practices, they want to have visiting scholars come and teach them, and they want to bridge barriers and create ongoing collaborations with nursing programs in the United States, Canada, and Europe. $5000 will be spent creating three programs: First for visiting scholars; second for a first ever March conference inviting nursing faculty from all over Kurdistan to network and learn together; third – for faculty to attend educational programs outside of Iraq.

Timeframe: 1-6 months. Classes begin in mid-September and faculty must plan for time away. Also, scholars in Europe and the United States need time to prepare and get permission from their institutions. Conference planning is beginning now with a tentative date of late March.

YES! I WILL HELP!

CLICK TO DONATE

Why should you help?

Millions of dollars are raised every day by people in Western Countries. Some of those projects are valuable and create lasting programs; others benefit individuals. This small project has the ability to make a significant and lasting impact in the region. Walking alongside these student nurses and the faculty is an amazing opportunity to partner in the region. The Kurdish region of Iraq has gone through untold tragedy at the hands of others, yet, the hope and resilience is evident throughout this College of Nursing. Every single summer, thousands of western high school and college students send out requests for funds so that they can go on 10-day to two week service projects. While a wonderful way to watch students expand their world view, it doesn’t create sustainable programs. Investing is this project is a way to walk beside people in the Kurdish region of Iraq. It’s a unique project for a unique group of people.

How do I know my funds will be used appropriately?

First and foremost, this fundraiser via Go Fund Me went through many levels of vetting (more than the typical Go Fund Me campaign). Many checks and balances have been put in place and the exploratory process was intense.

You can rest assured that the funds will be used appropriately because you will get updates that the students went to Johannesburg. You will see copies of receipts for plane tickets; you will see pictures at the conference they attend. You will see a document and stories of visiting scholars. You will see pictures of equipment and receipts of items purchased for the simulation lab.

Would you think of donating today? As shared in our introduction article about the Triangle Impact Initiative, if you feel led to donate, please join together with other Triangles around the world in giving no more than $25 (and then share the news with others!).

YES! I WILL HELP!

CLICK TO DONATE

The post Support Nursing Education in Kurdistan appeared first on I am a Triangle.

Looking back …

The I Am A Triangle (IAAT) community has been in existence since September of 2013. We have lived on a new platform (Mighty Networks) since August 8, 2017 and in the past five years we have seen a plethora of outstanding support, undying commitment to each other, and – as we like to boast – answers that you can’t even find on Google!

We have seen life changing decisions being made because of the love and friendship among Triangle members, hundreds of in-person gatherings across the world, and businesses being born. We have shown up for our members when they have suffered unimaginable pain and loss when loved ones have died. We have celebrated with members during adoptions, engagements, and in some cases, the end of marriages.  We have stood by each other during repatriation blues and the sadness of being a Stayer. We have encouraged – on repeat – and we have *always* operated from a culture of kindness first.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned an awful lot about the human race, the communities and countries we borrow as global nomads and Triangles, and I’ve been richly blessed and my life expanded because of the IAAT community.

What is the Triangle Impact Initiative?

I’ve felt for the better part of two years that our community was meant for something greater. Sure, the support, networking and friendships are powerful and important. Absolutely, the wisdom gained from each other is palpable. As a leader though, I have forecasted since 2016 that we needed to step up as a community. We needed to UPLEVEL as Triangles.

Beginning TODAY (I’m giddy with excitement!) we are launching the Triangle Impact Initiative. What this means – in quite simple terms – is that we will:

1. Choose FOUR initiatives and fundraising opportunities to align with between now and Summer of 2019.
2. We will show up and open our wallets to support these initiatives AS A COMMUNITY.
3. Our impact will be shown and felt globally as we seek to honor the communities we borrow around the world.

There are a few things we’d like you to keep in mind.

We have over 15,000 people still hanging around in our archived Facebook Group and 4,000 members in our new community home. If we all gave $1.00, four times per year, we would see MASSIVE impact happening on a global level when partnering with organizations that are committed to (and proven!) providing sustainable and long-term impact.

Moving forward, every time we introduce a new Triangle Impact Initiative Partner (TIIP), if you feel led to contribute, we ask that you give NO MORE than $25.00.  You read that right. We aren’t asking you to give hundreds of dollars or dig deep into your pocketbook. Just $25 as a max, per Triangle member PER TIIP that we introduce to you.

*** Small print.

• The I Am A Triangle community does not profit or benefit from this initiative. I – as the IAAT founder – do not profit or benefit from this initiative. 100% of your donated funds goes STRAIGHT to the organization.
• EACH and every TIIP is absolutely vetted, and in a hard core way, before they are introduced to you This will mean that the funding platform (i.e. kickstarter, go fund me, indiegogo, etc.) has already approved the fundraiser, and in many cases the organization has already gone through extreme vetting to ensure the project is legitimate. In addition, the IAAT Advisory Board will (in some cases) conduct additional vetting.
• We are not taking suggestions for future TIIP opportunities at this time. We have already chosen the four partners and we will introduce you to them in August of 2018, November of 2018, February of 2019 and May of 2019.
• Why $25? The Together Rising movement has been a fab example of the power of micro-giving. They have raised MILLIONS of dollars, $25 at a time, and we believe the model is one that the IAAT community can get behind!
• Please research whether your gift is tax deductible in your home country by reading the fine print of each fundraiser.

We will link up each article HERE as we introduce each TIIP and we hope you are AS excited as we are to participate in this amazing opportunity.

TL:DR

If this was all too long (TL:DR stands for Too Long : Didn’t Read) and you didn’t want to read the long article, the I Am A Triangle community is upleveling and in addition to being an outstanding resource and support hub for humans on the go – around the world – we are now expanding our reach and impact by aligning with FOUR amazing fundraising opportunities.

Each fundraising opportunity will present an option for you to get involved, open your wallet and impact the world on a global scale … $25 at a time.

I’m so excited to introduce this opportunity, and stand beside ALL of our I Am A Triangle community to see what kind of impact we can really and truly have on the world! It’s time to rally together, and uplevel!

TIIP #1: Nursing Students in Kurdish Region of Iraq

TIIP #2: <coming November 2018>

TIIP #3: <coming February 2019 >

TIIP #4: <coming June 2019>

The post I Am A Triangle Impact Initiative appeared first on I am a Triangle.

• Sometimes you move, sometimes you stay,
• Sometimes you are worried, concerned and anxious, sometimes you are excited of what comes next,
• Sometimes you leave great friends behind, sometimes they leave you behind
• Sometimes all goes according to plan, sometimes not 
• Sometimes it is damn hard, sometimes you take it all in a stride
• Sometimes you cry, sometimes you laugh

It is always different, it always brings up different feelings and emotions, no matter how often I experience summer time abroad. I am staying on this year, but it is a summer with a huge turnover of friends, for myself and the kids.

I am excited for my friends, about the new places they will go to and experience. I personally always like the moving part, despite all its toughness. But I am well aware that a lot will have changed once the new school year starts. It might feel a bit like a new start for us again, too, despite staying on. 

Reaching the end of the school year you will give many many hugs and send well wishes, with hope that friendships will remain. But knowing full well that often life happens and some friendships, no matter how close and dear they were, may not survive. Hope is always there but reality is often different. But that is part of this life, too. For every hello often comes as well a good bye. Friendships are always important but not always the same. 

Last summer I had a discussion with my kids that kept staying with me. It was about how they feel about their friends leaving:

My daughter (then 8) said: “Yes, I am sad but I will be ok.”
My son (then 10) replied: “Yes, I am a bit sad, but this is our life. After all we have this every year and we have been ok.”

A moment that broke my heart and made me proud at the same time.  But, as long as we stay open to new people and still embrace friendships, reach out to newcomers, are open-minded when we move and ask for help when needed we are ok. More than ok!

For now, I will fondly listen to the sound of movers packing when I walk the streets, enjoy every talk and memory I make with friends still here, be excited for what lies ahead for them, be open for a new – and old – beginning when school starts again.

Here is a big “cheers” to memories and friendships made and that we made a life like this happen.

To all moving, to all staying behind – I wish you all the very best to new beginnings! 

The post Summer time = Moving time appeared first on I am a Triangle.